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The four drains in Lynne’s surgical area are supposed to be “milked” and emptied 4 times a day.  We’ve managed to do it three times a day so far.  I’ve been the farmer and Lynne has been Bessie.  While not the most visually appealing process, I felt that since she underwent this operation not only for herself but for her whole family.  One way that I could help bear her burden was to take care of the drains.

For those of you who haven’t ever seen these things, they are long, plastic tubes with bulbs on the end that capture the output and also create suction on the wound.  We are supposed to squeeze the drains to clear the lines and also help collect the output in the bulbs.  We have to measure the output and their color.  To avoid editorializing, they gave us a list of colors from which we can choose.  One of the colors is “straw” which makes us think this is much more of a J. Crew catalog than a medical process. How about yellow?

I’m enjoying the process of putting on latex gloves and enjoy snapping them into place.  In my next life I want to be a television doctor.  That or a Kardashian, since that doesn’t seem to require any talent or effort at all.

I have been able to make Lynne smile during the milking by occasionally moaning “Drains” instead of “Brains” like a bad zombie movie.